


You Will Never Fail Me

by RowanSparrow



Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Blood and Injury, Brotherly Love, CT-7567 | Rex Needs a Hug, Hurt/Comfort, Illnesses, Mild Blood, Post-Episode: s04e07 Darkness on Umbara, Sick Character, Stomach Ache, Umbara (Star Wars), Vomiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-13
Updated: 2020-04-13
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:28:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23631613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RowanSparrow/pseuds/RowanSparrow
Summary: Captain Rex is struggling through the residual feelings of guilt after Umbara. Lucky for him, Cody is there to help him through the nightmares.
Relationships: CC-2224 | Cody & CT-7567 | Rex
Comments: 13
Kudos: 196





	You Will Never Fail Me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AngelWars](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelWars/gifts).



> This work was initially commissioned by @AngelWars! Thank you very much <3

It was nearly every night, like clockwork. He couldn’t remember a time when there were not any nightmares. It seemed like they were constant these days. Perhaps he deserved it. Maybe all the Jedi’s nonsense about the Force had some truth to it, and this was the Force making him pay for everything he’d done.

After all, what had happened on Umbara… it was his fault, when you got right down to the nitty gritty of it. He could have stopped it, he could have saved people. But he couldn’t. Didn’t.

_“Stop firing!”_

_“Everyone, stop firing!”_

_“We’re shooting at our own men!”_

_“They’re not Umbarans – they’re clones!”_

_“CEASE FIRE!!”_

Captain Rex closed his eyes, taking a few slow, shaky breaths, trying to force the sound of his own voice out of his head. The barracks were dark, he should have been asleep hours ago. And yet here he was, staring up at the ceiling and trying to decide what was worse: being afraid to close your eyes because of what you might see, or not being able to close your eyes at all?

Rex was _exhausted_. He could barely sleep, even when Kix started prescribing him comedowns to help him sleep, he rarely got more than a few hours a night before the nightmares jerked him awake again. He had been having trouble keeping food down as well. Kix was threatening to put a feeding tube in him if he did not start to eat again.

It is not like Rex hadn’t tried. He had tried everything he could think of. He was a _soldier,_ for Force’s sake. He shouldn’t be having breakdowns like this – he wasn’t the only man on Umbara, he shouldn’t be so affected by it -.

He swallowed, sitting up and rubbing a hand over his sweaty face, shivering in the sudden chill of the room. A walk perhaps. Maybe that would ease his mind.

Rex padded over to the corner of the room – thank Force officers had their own quarters. If Rex hadn’t already been on his own, he certainly would’ve been moved to a private room at this point, with how often the nightmares woke him up screaming until his throat was hoarse. He wouldn’t have wanted to trouble any of his brothers, or his commanding officers.

He dressed himself carefully, zipping up his blacks before putting his armor on. Something about being in his armor again made him feel safe, secure. He did not worry so much about his nightmares, or about the bad memories from the past. In his armor, he only had three things on his mind: Protect the Jedi, Protect his Men, and Stay Alive.

Rex sealed his helmet, taking a slow, easy breath and closing his eyes as his helmet sensors kicked on. The relief he felt was instantaneous. He hummed to himself and rose to his feet again, exiting his quarters quietly.

He walked down the long corridor, the knot in his stomach beginning to lessen the longer he wandered the quiet halls. He wondered why he hadn’t taken the night watch more often. There was something peaceful about being out and about in a quiet base like this. It put him at ease, and Rex allowed himself a small smile.

Of course, on Coruscant, where the Grand Army of the Republic was headquartered, and therefore had the largest operations base in the entire Republic army, Rex should have expected that such a heavily populated base would not be without a fellow night riser for long.

“Captain?” Tup asked, tilting his head curiously at Rex as the Captain rounded the corner. “What are you doing here sir?” The young trooper straightened up slightly, holding his DC-17 blaster closer to his chest. “Trouble?”

“No, Tup. No trouble.” Rex assured him, stepping up beside him. “What’re you doing out and about this late?”

“I’m – I’m on watch duty sir, remember? You assigned it to me and Fives after the ah – the incident in the mess hall a few weeks ago.”

Rex could hear the blush in the trooper’s voice and chuckled softly to himself. The incident in question was a minor infraction, but what had started as a harmless arm-wrestling match turned into an all out brawl, and Rex had walked in and found Fives and Tup in the center of it. He had been so sidetracked lately, between his nightmares and the fatigue He had been feeling lately, that he had completely forgotten about assigning them to the night watch in the first place.

Perhaps that made him a poor Captain.

“Sir? Everything okay?” Tup asked gently, cocking his head again. He had noticed the Captain’s shift in demeanor, however minute it might have been.

“Of course.” Rex said stiffly, clearing his throat and straightening up. “You can head to bed, soldier. I’ll take over your watch for the night.”

“But sir -.”

“It is alright Tup. I mean it.” Rex insisted. “Go on.”

Tup hesitated a beat, but reluctantly nodded. “Yes sir.” He said, and headed off down the hallway, tossing one last glance over his shoulder at the Captain as Rex began to patrol the halls. The halls felt darker, somehow, despite nothing really changing around him, and a part of him almost wished he had made Tup stay with him. But that would have been foolish, he’s a Captain for kriff’s sake, he did not need a -.

Oh, for the love of Force.

He sighed to himself, crossing his arms over his as he spotted another familiar face, this time in the mess hall.

“Isn’t it a bit late for you to be up, sir?” He asked, folding his hands neatly behind his back.

“I could have said the same thing about you, Rexster.” Ahsoka Tano teased, lifting her head to smile at him. “What are you up to?”

“Couldn’t sleep.” Rex replied. That was mostly true, and Ahsoka seemed to buy it. “You?”

“The same, I guess.” Ahsoka said. “Is it just me, or is it way harder to sleep when it is actually quiet? I’m so used to the constant fighting that it feels… weird, for there to be nothing for a change.”

“I get it, kid. More than you know.” Rex said, sitting own across from her. “All we clones know is the war. The quiet like this, the calm before the storm.” He shuddered. “Gives me the creeps.”

Ahsoka nodded. “To be honest, I’m kind of the same way.” She said. “I don’t remember a time when there wasn’t a war. I’m not sure very many of the Jedi do. The war’s changed all of us. For better or for worse.” She raised an eyebrow at Rex, a sympathetic look crossing her face for a moment.

“Speaking of which,” She said. “I heard about … what happened.”

Rex stiffened slightly. He knew what she was talking about.

_“We’re shooting at our own men!”_

_“They’re not Umbarans, they’re clones!”_

_“Cease fire!”_

_“We thought they were wearing our armor.”_

“What about it?”

_“But it was you…”_

“Are you alright, Rex? I can’t imagine going through something like that… and without my master there with you, or me.”

“It is in the past now, sir.” Rex said in a tone that he hoped the Padawan would realize meant let it drop.

Ahsoka took the hint, whether it was from his tone or from the sudden shift in his Force signature and relented.

“Just…” She sighed, letting the thought go. “Just make sure you take care of yourself.”

“I always do sir.” Rex replied, smiling at her again.

Ahsoka returned the smile, and stood up, the Captain rising with her. “You better get back to bed, Rex. it is late.”

“Can’t anymore, sir.” Rex chuckled. “I told Tup I’d take over his night watch.”

“Well what did you do that for?” Ahsoka asked, looking up at him incredulously.

Rex hesitated a beat, not wanting to tell her about his nightmares. “I just figured the kid needed to rest. He’s done his time.”

“Right, I heard about the incident in the mess hall.” Ahsoka giggled. “Fives is wandering around here somewhere too, I assume?”

“He better be.” Rex replied. “All the more reason I better go find him, sir.”

“Okay. Get some sleep yourself, Rex.” Ahsoka reminded him, before skipping off down the hall.

~

Rex wandered the halls aimlessly until the sun began to peek through the few windows in the facilities, and the automatic lights kicked on in the hallways, signaling the start of the day. Rex removed his helmet, scrubbing a hand down his face. He was exhausted, and his stomach was beginning to knot all over again. Maybe this wasn’t anxiety at all, he thought to himself. Maybe this was something else, some kind of sickness. What other explanation was there? The clones on Kamino had the anxiety bred out of them, trained to withstand any form of battlefield stress.

So why did he feel this way?

“All due respect, Captain, you look like a rancor ate you and spit you back out.” Jesse chuckled, eyeing Rex as the Captain half-stumbled down the hallway. Jesse’s smile fell from his face as Rex got closer, taking in the Captain’s bloodshot eyes and the dark circles that hung beneath them. Even with his armor on, the Captain looked like He had lost a great deal of weight too. No small feat, the clones were already on carefully controlled diets to make sure they remained in peak physical condition. 

“Captain, are you ok?” He asked, worry creasing his voice. Rex looked up, and Jesse felt his breath catch in his throat. He could see the Captain’s cheekbones through his sagging facial features, and his shoulders looked bony, jutting out against the visible bits of blacks beneath his armor plates. How long had Captain Rex looked like that? When was the last time He had joined his troops in the mess hall?

“Yes.” Rex replied softly. “I’m fine, just a bit tired is all…”

“This isn’t tired, Rex.” Jesse said, reaching him in just two quick strides. “This is _sick_. What happened, and I want the truth.” He said firmly. “Don’t make me get Kix.”

“Would everyone stop calling Kix every time something goes even slightly wrong? The man has enough problems without my men making up imaginary ones with me for him to come deal with.” Rex muttered, bitter.

“Sir, you don’t look well at all.” Jesse insisted. “Where are you headed? Do you have duty somewhere? I can take it for you if you’d like. Perhaps you should go get some rest if you’re just tired.”

“I can handle myself just fine, Jesse, thank you.” Rex said, brushing past the trooper.

“Sir!” Jesse protested, following behind him worriedly. “Sir, you look – you look wretched! I’m sorry, but this isn’t normal, I can’t let you just push yourself until you collapse, because it seems like you’re headed that way soon sir.”

“For the last time, Jesse!” Rex spun around, facing him head on. “I said, I can take care of – of my –.”

He stopped suddenly, feeling his stomach lurch dramatically. He spun on his heel and hurried to the refresher, barely making it inside before bending over one of the toilets and dry heaving. He hadn’t eaten in – sith spit, when was the last time he ate something? He coughed, gagging again as his knees started to shake, like they were about to buckle underneath him. What the kriff was going on with him?

This couldn’t be happening. If his anxiety, if his trauma, was eating him up this badly, he could be sent back to Kamino. He could be sent to reconditioning. He had to get a handle on himself, if he let this get any further out of control he could be sent away for good.

He could hear a voice calling out to him, followed by hurried footsteps, but he barely acknowledged it. He was spiraling, echoes of General Krell’s voice in his head, punctuated by the screams of his men and the sounds of blaster fire. He couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t think – kriff, he _really_ couldn’t breathe.

“Vod’ika.”

The familiar voice, followed by a pair of hands on his shoulders, then cool palms against his hot cheeks, centered him again, brought him back to reality.

“Rex,” The voice continued, thumbs brushing over his cheekbones. “It is all right. Deep breaths, vod’ika. You’re alright.”

Rex blinked, swallowing shakily as he met Commander Cody’s eyes, focused on his face. “What – What happened?”

Cody frowned at him, his thumb shifting to prod at Rex’s face. “What’s gotten into you? You look awful, Rex old boy.” He muttered, looking him over carefully. “You look like you’re falling apart at the seams, you’ve got your boys sending me distress calls now, Rex.”

“Well perhaps my _boys_ should learn to just mind their own business.” Rex griped, then hissed softly as another wave of nausea washed over him again. He pushed past Cody, bending back over the toilet again as he retched violently, the sound echoing through the refresher. Rex flinched. Even to his own ears, that was an ugly sound.

Cody frowned deeper, narrowing his eyes and looking to his left. “Call Kix right away.” He said quietly. “Tell him -.”

“No!” Rex said sharply, nudging around Cody to see who he was talking to. Fives was standing in the doorway, looking concerned as all hell, Jesse just over his shoulder. “No, I – I don’t need Kix. I’m fine.”

“You don’t look fine.” Fives said, his eyes wide with worry, looking for all the world like a cadet again. “Could hear you yackin’ down the hall, sir.”

“Watch your tone, Fives.” Rex snapped. He knew his anger was misplaced, but he couldn’t help it. He was overwhelmed and upset, not to mention he still had no idea what was actually happening to him.

“Fives, get Wooley instead.” Cody said abruptly, shifting so he could help Rex to his feet. He did not offer his arm right away, instead waiting for Rex to lean into him on his own. “Wooley is the medic for the 212th. Have him sent to my quarters please. And keep this to yourselves.” He added, giving both men a pointed look.

“Yes sir,” Jesse said, nudging Fives before the ARC Trooper could say anything else.

“Need a sitrep, Rex.” Cody said quietly once the other two troopers had left. “What is it? Take too many uppers? Comedowns? Got the shakes? Just a bug? What’s the situation?”

“Cody.” Rex insisted, holding up a hand, stopping him. “It is …” he sighed. “It is Umbara.”

Cody’s expression darkened. While Rex and Cody’s paths hadn’t directly crossed during the events of the siege on Umbara, both of them had suffered catastrophic losses, and Cody’s men were among the ones lost at the final battle where Rex discovered the horrible truth about General Krell.

“I see.” The clone commander replied quietly. “Come on, Vod’ika. On your feet. We’ll talk in my quarters.”

“Cody, I’m alright, really -.”

“Like hell you are.” Cody said sharply, giving Rex a firm look. “My quarters. Now. That’s an order.”

Rex scowled slightly. “You aren’t the boss of me.” He muttered, like a stubborn child.

“I outrank you, Rex’ika.” Cody replied with half a smirk. “Not to pull rank, but I just gave you a direct order. Don’t make me carry you there.”

Rex’s ears pricked hot with embarrassment, and he shot Cody one more dirty look before reluctantly leaving the refresher, trying to carry what was left of his dignity out with him. Cody stayed at his side, acting as though nothing was the matter, but Rex could tell from the way Cody walked just a bit too close to him that the commander was worried about him.

When they arrived back at Cody’s private quarters – just a bit down the hallway from Rex’s own, thankfully – Wooley was already standing outside the door, looking mildly confused and a bit out of place.

“Sir,” Wooley saluted briefly when Cody walked up with Rex. “Fives told me you wanted to speak with me?”

“Yes,” Cody beckoned the medic inside, and manhandled Rex into one of the chairs. The Captain grunted in dissent, but otherwise did not put up much of a fight. Somehow that did nothing to dissuade Cody’s worries. “Take a look at the Captain for me, will you?”

Wooley frowned slightly, eyeballing Rex. “Sir, doesn’t the 501st have their own medic?”

“Wooley.” Cody’s voice booked no argument, and Wooley nodded sheepishly.

“Yes sir.” He said. “Captain Rex, if you would please remove your armor.”

Rex sighed, reluctantly taking off his armor plates so the medic could inspect him closer.

“Huh,” Wooley murmured under his breath, unzipping Rex’s blacks to look at his midsection.

“What?” Rex griped.

“From the way you have been carrying yourself, you’d think you were hiding a gut shot.” Wooley replied. “Your stomach feeling okay Captain? Eat anything funny lately?”

“Not unless you count the nutrient bars we get in the mess hall as funny.” Rex grumbled.

Wooley chuckled slightly at that, but Cody just frowned deeper. The more he studied Rex, the more he saw the way the Captain carried himself, he realized Wooley was right. Rex _was_ acting like he was hiding some kind of deeper pain, the way a cadet would try to hide a gut wound to avoid worrying his brothers or superior officers.

It was that kind of bolt-brained shiny behavior that had Cody worried about his younger vod.

Wooley shifted, and ran a small hand held scanner over Rex. “Doesn’t seem to be any kind of bug, sir.” He reported. “Maybe it is stress induced?” Wooley gave Rex a look. He had been on Umbara too. The 212th and the 501st were both handling things in their own way. “I could take another look, see if there’s anything else going on with you deeper inside, but I’d need to take you to the med bay for that, so I can get a good look at you with the proper tools and the like.”

“That won’t be necessary.” Rex said firmly, already beginning to try and put his armor back on like everything was completely normal. “It isn’t stress induced.”

“For the love of kriff, Rex, will you stop lying to yourself?” Cody snapped. “You’re dismissed, Wooley, thank you.” He said curtly to his medic. Wooley nodded, and cleared out of there as quickly as he could. He knew a storm was brewing between the two officers, and he sure as hell did not want to be caught in the middle of it.

“Talk to me Rex, what’s really going on?” Cody demanded, crossing his arms as Rex attempted to right his blacks and armor again.

Rex sighed, pausing in the middle of zipping up his blacks. “I don’t know.” He admitted quietly. “I’ve tried everything I can think of, Cody, I can’t – I don’t know how to make it go away.”

“How to make what go away?” Cody asked, his voice gentler as he knelt down in front of Rex, a hand on the Captain’s knee. “Talk to me, Rex’ika. Tell me what’s on your mind.”

Rex closed his eyes, hanging his head in shame. “Umbara…” He managed quietly. “I led my men into a slaughter… and your men were caught up in it too. I shouldn’t -.” He looked down at his helmet in his hands, and ran his thumb over the Jaig eye pattern on the top. “I don’t deserve this.” He murmured, tossing his helmet aside. “We lost so many men, Cody. Good men. All because -.”

“Because of what, Rex?” Cody interrupted. “Because of Krell? Because a separatist worm managed to slip his way into the Jedi ranks? Because Umbara was a hard fought and difficult won battle, but we managed to win it anyway?”

“Because I failed you!” Rex shouted over him, finally losing his temper. “I failed you, Cody. I failed you. I failed my men. Fives, Jesse… Hardcase…” He murmured, eyes downcast again. “I failed all of them. How can I call myself their Captain if I was willing to just – just stand aside and let Fives and Jesse be executed? If I lead my men into battle against their own brothers? How could I do those things?”

“You did not know Rex,” Cody insisted softly, cupping the Captain’s cheek again, trying to convince Rex to look up at him. “You did not know, vod’ika, not even General Kenobi knew what Krell was. He fooled all of us. it is a miracle you were even able to figure it out on your own the way you did.”

“I did not figure out a karkin’ thing.” Rex snapped. “Waxer’s last words were to tell me the truth. I only found out the truth through Waxer. And I could have stopped Fives and Jesse’s execution, but I was willing to let them die. Nine hells, I couldn’t even muster up the stones to watch, Cody, I closed my karking eyes when it happened!”

“Rex, Rex’ika, look at me,” Cody soothed, pulling Rex out of the chair and onto the floor with him, holding his younger brother in his arms. “Rex, listen, none of that was your fault. Do you understand? None of that was your fault.”

“But – Rex and Jesse, I could’ve -.”

“It is in the past, Rex.” Cody insisted, talking over him. “You have to let it go. it is in the past; it is over now. Fives and Jesse are both okay. What’s done is done, you can’t change the past. You can’t take back what happened.” He tilted Rex’s chin up, squeezing his bicep reassuringly. “But you _can_ keep leading your men and be the Captain I know you can be.”

Rex hesitated, like he did not quite believe it, and Cody shook his head again.

“What am I going to have to do to convince you, Rex’ika?” Cody asked fondly, shaking his head sadly at his younger brother. “This isn’t on you. You did everything right. You did what you were trained to do.”

“It wasn’t enough, Cody. I wasn’t trained nearly enough for that.” He muttered. “When I went against Krell… I knew it was the right thing to do. He was evil. He was scum, Cody. But it still went against everything in me. Every part of me, every nerve and vessel and drop of blood in my bones was screaming in protest the whole time.” He shook his head.

“We are people, Cody. We lost so many good people at Umbara. For what? Because we were engineered to blindly follow orders? If I hadn’t been so blinded trying to do exactly what Krell told me to, maybe I would have noticed things sooner, and our vode, our _brothers,_ might still be alive.”

Cody frowned. This had changed Rex. True, Cody had been on Umbara too, and he’d lost a lot of good men that day – men like Waxer. Breaking the news to Boil hadn’t been easy, and it was a day Cody couldn’t bear to relive – but he hadn’t been at the battle where the clone troopers shot one another. Worse still, he wasn’t the one who had been under Krell’s direct command, and he hadn’t been among the men who made the decision to execute a Jedi.

He couldn’t imagine the level of turmoil Rex was enduring, and it broke his heart that no matter what he did, nothing seemed to be able to make it right again for his little vod.

“Look at me, Rex.”

Cody waited patiently until the younger clone finally met his eyes before he continued.

“You might fail a battle,” he began quietly. “You might fail a mission, or you might even fail a Jedi. But you will _never_ fail me.” He pressed their foreheads together, a traditional Mando’a greeting. “Understand that, little brother?”

Rex smiled, closing his eyes. “Understood, Vod.” He murmured, nodding once. “Loud and clear.”

Their communicators beeped in unison, and the two men pulled apart, glancing down at them.

“We’re needed in the briefing room.” Cody said quietly, looking over to Rex. “Can you handle yourself in there?”

“Please,” Rex chuckled, rising to his feet again. “I’m not a cadet anymore.”

Cody chuckled, rising to his feet with Rex and following him out of the quarters, studying his back as they walked. It was almost like Rex was back to his old self.

Almost.

~

Cody’s words had helped, no matter how badly Rex did not want to admit it.

Still, the longer he stood on his feet during the mission briefing, the less alright he felt. He felt… lightheaded. Maybe there was some truth to Kix’s many lectures about how Rex needed to make sure he was eating properly, never mind the fact that he was the Captain and that the welfare of his men came first. Rex really couldn’t remember the last time He had eaten a substantial meal, and not just a bite here or there. Hell, when was the last time He had drank _water?_

The mission briefing seemed to just drone on forever. Or maybe it wasn’t actually that long at all, and it just felt like it because of how _terrible_ Rex felt. Fives was standing at his side, the ARC Trooper would be joining them on this particular mission, and Cody did not miss the way the soldier shifted minutely closer to stand by Rex, his helmet tilted slightly to the side, like the ARC Trooper was trying to keep a subtle watch over his Captain.

Cody thought they were over this by now, but he could tell just from looking at Rex that he wasn’t doing well, even with his helmet on. He was sure Padawan Tano was beginning to pick up on it as well, given her furtive glances in his direction every now and then. Rex swayed slightly at the two-hour mark of the not so brief mission briefing, and even General Skywalker and General Kenobi turned to look at him.

“Rex? You alright?” Anakin asked, giving him a sidelong glance. “You don’t seem to be doing too good.”

“He took the night shift last night, sir.” Fives butted in, trying to cover for Rex. “He’s probably exhausted. I don’t think he’s gotten much sleep the past few days.”

“Rex, is something else going on?” Ahsoka asked, unable to contain her own worry.

“Negative sir.” Rex replied curtly, and shot Fives a look from behind the safety of his helmet. “All good here.”

The ARC Trooper did not miss the look, but Fives did not back down.

“Sir, with all due respect, you aren’t fine.”

“Fives!” Rex snapped, finally turning to face Fives full-on.

“No, he’s right, Rex.” Anakin said. “I think you might be coming down with something. I can sense the heat radiating off you from here, I think you might have a fever.”

“Sir, it is nothing a little bit of rest and some food won’t fix.” Rex insisted wearily. He was really getting tired of this. If he could just lie down for a few moments, maybe his head would stop spinning and things would start to feel normal again. He could manage that right? They wouldn’t decommission him for that, right?

“Perhaps we should be finishing up here after all.” Obi-Wan said, turning to Cody. “You’re dismissed Commander. Rex, Fives, you’re free to go as well. Ahsoka, Anakin and I will finish things up here.”

“Yes sir.” The clones all said in unison. Rex hurried out of the room before any of his comrades tried to stop him.

~

By the time he made it back to his own quarters, Rex was struggling to stand. He swayed back and forth, and finally fell forward to his knees. He coughed violently, arms wrapped around his stomach as he curled in on himself, gagging again until blood spurted out of the corner of his mouth, dripping onto the floor. Blood. He was vomiting up blood. Rex barely had time to register this before he slumped onto the floor.

Rex did not know for how long he lay there, only that he was surrounded by loud voices and clamoring arms once again.

“Give him some air,” He heard a soft yet firm voice say. He felt a cool hand brush over his face, followed by a much sharper voice. “For kriff’s sake, back up! Give him some air! Come now, Rex’ika, wake up. You’re strong, you’ll be alright.”

“I called for Kix, he should be here any minute.”

“We haven’t the time for Kix, I could sense his distress all the way from the briefing room. Fives, do you think you could carry him?”

“Yes sir, General Kenobi, I’ll carry him.”

Rex felt strong arms wrap around him, followed by the feeling of being lifted off the ground. He curled in towards Fives’ chest instinctually.

“We’ve got him from here, sirs, we’ll have the medics look over him.”

“Update me as soon as you know more about his condition.”

“Yes sir, General Skywalker.”

Rex hissed softly under his breath, coughing violently again, a bit of blood spattering onto Fives’ breastplate.

“They’re gone, Rex… you don’t have to talk anymore, it is just us. Please wake up.” Cody’s voice sounded so worried. Rex just wanted to sleep. But with every ounce of strength left in his body, he forced his eyes open, looking up at Cody.

“There you are, Vod’ika.” Cody chuckled, but Rex could see the fear in his eyes. “It is alright now, Vod’ika, Fives and I are taking you to the med bay right away. You’ll be alright, I promise.”

~

Rex wasn’t sure how long he was in the med bay, but when he woke up, his throat was very dry, and Kix was standing at the foot of the bed, his arms folded over his chest.

“Good, you’re finally awake.” He said, snatching up a data pad and scrolling through it absently. Rex swallowed, his throat still painfully dry. There was not much in the galaxy that Rex was afraid of, but when Kix had _that look_ on his face, he was scared shitless.

“What did I miss?” Rex asked, trying to keep the tone light.

“Don’t start. You’re lucky I don’t skin you right here right now, but I’d hate to undo all my careful abdominal stitches.” Kix snapped.

“What do you mean?” Rex asked suddenly, sitting up slightly. “I had surgery?”

“Get your ass back down.” Kix barked, grabbing Rex by the shoulders and gently but firmly manhandling him back down onto the bed. “I did not spend the past six hours elbow deep in your guts just for you to mess up all my handiwork.”

“Kix, what the hell happened?”

“Ulcers, lots of ‘em.” Kix replied, grabbing his data pad again. “Stress induced, if I had to guess. They were completely lining your stomach and intestines, no wonder you could barely keep any food down. Do you have any idea how idiotic it was for you to keep doing work, to take night shifts, for kark’s sake? With all due respect sir, what the _hell_ were you thinking? You could’ve had a far worse stomach bleed if you’d let it go on any further.”

“I’m sorry.” Rex mumbled, not knowing what else to say. “I did not think it was that bad, I thought I could just -.”

“Could what? Muscle through it? _Digest it?”_ Kix said, absolutely fuming. “You’re on bedrest for the next three days, and if I see so much as a toe out of that bed, I’m making it five, understood?”

“Yes sir.”

“Good.” Kix sighed. “Well. Glad you’re alright, Captain. Maybe now you can finally start to be on the mend, for real this time.” He said, turning to look around the corner for a moment. “Cody, you can come see him now.”

Cody hurried into the room, settling into the chair beside Rex. “Hey, Kix told me about the surgery.” Cody said, swallowing roughly. “You karking di’kut. What were you thinking? Why didn’t tell me it was this bad?”

“I did not know it was this bad.” Rex insisted. “I just thought – I thought if I told anyone about the nightmares…”

“Nightmares?” Cody’s expression softened. “You’ve been having nightmares, Vod’ika?”

“They keep me up at night, makes the anxiety and shit so much worse.” Rex mumbled, humiliated. “Guess that’s what caused this whole mess. Kix said the ulcers in my guts were probably stress induced.”

Cody sighed softly, rubbing a hand over his cheeks for a moment, and Rex watched him, chewing on his lower lip.

“So…” he said finally, closing his eyes and leaning back against the pillows. “You have finally seen the Captain crumble. How does it feel?”

“Horrible,” Cody muttered with a half-hearted chuckle. “I wish you would have just told me, Rex. You can tell me anything, you know that.”

“You had your own men to look after.”

“Rex, you’re my little brother. Of course, I’m always going to look after you.” Cody replied, frowning at him.

Rex could not argue any further, preserving what was left of his pride and dignity. He tried to sit, but he failed, wincing as his stomach protested the feeble movement. Cody wordlessly pulled Rex carefully into a sitting position and let the Captain rest against his chest as the Commander shifted to sit on the bed behind him.

“You want some water?” Cody asked gently, grabbing a cup off the nightstand. “Kix said you were pretty dehydrated. You’ve got some IV’s to help with that, and there’s this big ugly tube shoved right up your _sheb,_ which I’m sure hurts like the nine hells. Though maybe you can’t feel it?” Cody tried to peek under the sheets only for Rex to smack his hand away.

“Don’t you dare.”

Cody laughed softly, holding his younger brother close. The abrupt movement made Rex’s stomach turn, and he gagged again, leaning halfway off the bed as Cody held him steady. “Easy, vod’ika, I got you.” He soothed, rubbing Rex’s back gently.

Rex finally managed to expel what little fluids he had in him, and closed his eyes, leaning back against Cody again.

“Sorry about all this.” He said quietly, letting out another weak, sputtering cough.

“Stop apologizing.” Cody replied. “You’ve got nothing to be sorry for, Rex. I just want you to start feeling better.”

“Think it’ll be a long time yet before any of us start feeling better from this mess.” Rex said quietly. “The Umbara mess, I mean.”

Cody sighed. “Rex, you have to stop blaming yourself.”

“I can’t help it, Codes.” Rex murmured. “Jesse and Fives… they have no reason to trust me anymore. I can’t ask that of them. I can’t ask that of any of them.”

Something dawned on Cody then, and he glanced down at his commlink, sending off a quick message before returning his hold on Rex, rocking his younger brother soothingly to sleep.

~

Rex twitched in his sleep, a thin sheen of sweat spreading over his forehead as he struggled against an unseen Force in his sleep. The screams of his brothers, the sound of lightsabers cutting through flesh. General Krell’s laugh. The gunshots. Fives and Jesse slumped on the ground, executed by their own brothers. Rex, powerless to stop it all. Krell’s massive hand around Cody’s neck – what was Cody doing there? – squeezing, squeezing, let him go, _let him go. Let him go!_

“Rex, wake up. it is fine. I’m right here. it is alright. I’m here, Rex’ika, breathe.”

Rex snapped awake, breathing hard as Cody wrapped his arms around him again, shushing him quietly.

“It is alright, I’m still here.” Cody soothed, running a hand over Rex’s buzzcut hair. “It is alright, Rex, everyone’s safe.

Rex was breathing hard against Cody’s blacks – the commander must have changed out of his armor at some point after Rex fell asleep. He was trembling slightly, and not even Cody’s gentle, soothing voice was doing much to stop him from shaking.

“Nine hells, Captain. How’d it get this bad without any of us noticing?”

Rex jumped slightly at the new voice, glancing up at its owner. Fives was standing in the corner of the room, arms folded over his chest, but a mournful look on his face.

“I’m so sorry, sir. None of this would be happening if we’d noticed sooner.” Fives murmured.

“You don’t -.” Rex’s voice cracked, and he cleared his throat, trying again. “You have nothing to apologize for, Fives. If anything, I should be apologizing to you.”

“But that’s just it, sir.” Fives insisted, stepping forward. “You don’t have anything to be sorry for either. Nobody blames you for what happened. You did everything you could to save us, save all of us. We defeated Krell, and we took Umbara. We did it together.”

“That’s not true.” Rex said softly. Cody did not interject. He knew this was what Rex needed. In order for his little brother to truly heal, he had to talk to Fives. He had to know the trooper did not blame him.

He needed to be forgiven, even if there was nothing for him to be forgiven for.

“What’s not true?” Fives said, his brow creasing as he talked, words becoming more forceful by the minute. “Sir, look at you! You’re driving yourself sick with worry, with regret, and fear and all these other emotions that I’m sure not even you can really place. You’ve got half the company worried sick about you, plus now some of the boys from the 212th!” He gestured to Cody.

“Fives.” Rex said quietly, sitting up a bit more. “Fives, this isn’t about Krell, or about – about what happened with the 212th on Umbara.” He murmured. “This is about you and Jesse.”

He hesitated a beat. The ARC Trooper waited.

“I let you down.” Rex finally said. “I’m your Captain. it is my job to protect my men. All my men, even the stubborn, bull-headed ARC Troopers.” The comment got a smile out of Fives, and Rex had the courage to keep going.

“I did not protect you on Umbara. Or Jesse. Or even Dogma. Dogma’s been shipped back to Kamino, probably to be decommissioned, reconditioned at best. And you and Jesse… you were nearly executed. I did nothing to prevent it.”

“Krell would have killed you if you had tried.”

“I could have stopped him sooner. I could have prevented so much bloodshed, saved so many brothers, if only I wasn’t so foolish.” He looked up at the ARC Trooper again. “Fives, please. I know nothing I say will ever make up for what happened but…”

Fives looked up at Cody over Rex’s shoulders, and Cody nodded.

_He needs to hear you say it._

Fives sighed softly, and stepped closer, taking Rex’s hand in his own.

“Rex, I forgive you.” He said quietly. Then again, more earnestly this time. “I forgive you, Captain. I mean it. I don’t blame you; I understand. I forgive you.”

Rex’s entire body seemed to sag with relief, and Cody held him steady, nodding gratefully towards Fives. The ARC trooper simply nodded back.

“Now, do me a favor.” Fives chuckled, releasing Rex’s hand. “Get better, for kriff’s sake. We need you out there sir. We all do.”

Rex nodded, and Cody chuckled, settling back against the pillows again. “You want me to stay, Vod’ika?” he asked.

Rex nodded again, his voice failing him for the moment. Cody smiled, shutting off the light and shifting so his back was pressed up against Rex’s. The same soft, simple comfort that Rex had loved when they were both cadets together.

“Goodnight, Vod’ika.” Cody murmured.

“Goodnight.” Rex whispered back.

As the Captain finally drifted off to sleep at last, his breathing was slow and even, his eyes heavy as they fell closed at last.

This time, there were no nightmares.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm @rowansparrow-writing on Tumblr! Come say hi or commission a work of your own.


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